You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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