You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
worst night to have a conscience
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
