Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
True strength comes from lack of pants
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
