last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
