i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
