we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
