Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
