Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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