I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
