you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
