this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
