I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
