North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
