When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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