So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
