when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize