I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
