Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
