Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
