no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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