who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
