Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
