OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
