He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
