8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
