What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
