one might say we're banned from that church
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
