You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
