do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what day is it and did you see me today?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
