Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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