He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
