My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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