Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Shame is for Republicans.
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