Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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