Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
