That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
