Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize