i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
