if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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