I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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