Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
