Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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