I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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