is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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