you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
