problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
