god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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