I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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