tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
