Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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