after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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