we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i will never coherently bang her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i believe in u and ur pee
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
