it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
