You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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