Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
