She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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