Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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