So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
