i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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